For those that don't know and live under a rock, ADE or Amsterdam Dance Event is considered one of the major must go to events for music industry knowledge, networking and just plain having fun. I lived the experience last year (2022) and what an amazing ride it was. Unfortunately for me this year I had to admire the festival from afar as my teammates raged through the week posting their amazing and funfilled times. In complete denial I told myself I had better things to do than to go and meet the best and brightest industry professionals and attending epic beyond epic events while basking in the amazing culture and life that the city has to offer.  

So if you think there's a possible chance of you missing out on ADE 2024 here's some of the ways I survived missing out on ADE 2023

 

Watching British People Bake for No Money

PHOTO Credit: MARK BOURDILLON / NETFLIX

There's a lot of different names for this show depending where you are from. But here in the US we're not used to people doing things and competing for nothing other than cold hard cash. So when you have 7 seasons of a bunch of very pleasant people putting their heart and soul into something that would gladly give me cavities, for no prize money- you have a great way of getting to your happy place while not being in the happiest place (ADE not Disneyland). 

 

Sleeping

You want to one up all your friends and coworkers that got to see the wildest parties and performances around the world? Tell them how much sleep you got. Even if you didn't, just lie. This is one of the few times that Emmanuel Kant would say it's entirely ethical to lie. Even better yet, actually try to get a good nights rest. It is literally the only thing that you could've done that those that attended ADE didn't. 

Bags under my eyes? Nope. I got 8 hours of purest of pure 100% sleep. And if I didn't, I use my wife's makeup kit to hide the bags under my eyes... and the tears...

 

Eat Deep Fried Snickers Bars (Or Whatever)

People often say that there's not a lot of good native food in Amsterdam. Not sure if that's entirely true, as there is definitely a plethora of great foods from all across the world that is available. Except crazy deep fried candy/butter/icecream/etc. Maybe the country that your from isn't as cholesterol hungry that the US is known for, so find something else you can't (and probably shouldn't get) at ADE. Considering the green life style and health consciousness that most of the culture and events in Amsterdam are known for, the good money is that the tallest people on the planet don't dip snickers bars in some type of batter and then fry it to oblivion.

Don't have deep fried products in your country? Well then eat the local foods that no one else in the world would eat. Then laugh at all your friends that come back from Amsterdam while trying not to have a stomach ache.

 

Getting Started on Taxes

No one likes taxes and definitely no one likes to do them early. So why not just do them while you're in a self loathing state anyways? You're already groaning and sighing, so just get it over with. As the saying goes, if you're already soaked with rain, you might as well just go swimming. (I think that's a saying...?)

Yah I started my taxes. It sucked. But you know what? When all my friends come back from ADE, guess what's waiting for them? Having to deal with what they owe the government. And while they're doing that, that's when I strike back with a fury stating that I will be attending the next big event- WORRY FREE.

The truthful irony of course is that I probably won't have the money to go to said event because of taxes. But they don't need to know that. And if I can't go to said event I can always go back to watching British people bake.

 

DENY, DENY, DENY

Mental health, presence of mind, and meditation has been a great trend in the global movement. So why not just add a little denial mantra to your breath work. For example: "I am divine ok with not bring present at 9x9". Something to that effect. Rinse wash and repeat during morning affirmations and night journaling and you'll be good to go.

 

Rested, Over Fed, Financially Responsible and In Denial

Yup that's really all I got. It's a short list but all the things mentioned above really should get you through most of the week. Take everything with caution and use your best judgement. I highly encourage you to find your own ways of survival when you can't go to ADE. You could of course just go...

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